On Awkwardness and Addictions
by Thinkette
Summary: If Shikamaru dislikes troublesome women, but loves Temari, is he a liar, confused, or a jokester? "The first thing she said when she saw my hulking figure was that I was that much closer to the clouds." WARNING: Don't smoke just because Shika does!


I don't know why I allowed Kiba to drag me to this idiotic bar. I wasn't much of a drinker, I never had been since my father always had a supply and I thought it was stupid. Groaning, I noticed the attention of yet another person settle on me.

I was getting sick of this. Thanks to my most recent (and hopefully last) growth spurt, I found myself being a little too noticed. I swore that if I grew an inch over six feet, I would break my own leg bones, just to go back to an average and plain five foot seven. Instead, I towered over my father, my mother, almost all of my friends, and most of my old teachers, except for Asuma, who stood at an imposing six foot three, and weighed 180 pounds.

I easily towered over Ino, at her measly five foot three frame. I was taller than Chouji and his five foot ten frame. Almost everyone had gone through their last growth spurts. The lankiness left our bodies, we became solid and the girls became women. Many of us grew taller, and a lot grew bulkier, but I was still as scrawny as ever, at 6 feet tall and 145 pounds.

_My Kami, that was absolutely pathetic._

Right now though, my size was not something I thought was troublesome, instead, it was absolutely awkward. The girl looking at me was waifish. She was maybe five foot five and looked like she weighed as much as Ino, which was code for lighter than a feather. She had dark brown hair and bright gray eyes and a simple smile. I didn't want to appear rude, I nodded at her and faced away, focusing my attention back on the group of men. Kiba was drinking like today was his last day, Neji, opposite him, only sipped at some sake. I saw Naruto and his foxish smile as he flirted with the bartender and Shino simply watching over his rambunctious teammate. Rock Lee was banned from bars, so Neji was here alone, and Chouji was smiling at me.

"Do you think you'll finally get a girlfriend at this rate, Shikamaru?"

"Eh? Shikamaru with a girlfriend! Hah!" Kiba's laughter echoed out. "We all know he's already taken!"

Neji raised an eyebrow. "I have never seen him in any female company other than his teammate and the Sunan Ambassador he guides."

"Exactly, man! I can smell these things, and boy, Shikamaru, you're beyond interested."

I felt my ears flush, though thankfully, the place was relatively dark, and the shadows have always played to the Nara's advantages.

"I am not interested in any girls as of right now. They are troublesome and attention seeking. I dislike troublesome girls."

"I can't understand you! You have plenty of girls fawning over you and you ignore every single one of them!" He laughed again.

It was true. Usually, girls ignored me seeing as I was scrawny and brainy, not very tall and not very attractive either. Though now they seemed to look for three things in a man, brains, bulk, and looks. I found they believed that I had plenty of all three. Thankfully however, I could act uninterested in almost anything. She was eyeing me like I was some sort of meal, and I felt somewhat dirty and had the strange impulse to bathe and remove her eyes from my features. It was familiar though, unfortunately.

I was so accustomed to my average looks, to my not short but not tall height, to my plain hair and plain eyes, my nonexistent reputation and my overall calm. That changed when Asuma died, when I took up smoking, took down an immortal man, grew to six feet of height with a light layer of muscle under my skin. Suddenly, I heard rumors about my "Mocha" colored eyes, and my "Chocolate" colored hair. I heard girls talk about my bravery and how they liked the fact that I smoked and how it made me look cool. I suddenly had female attention left and right, and their sweet smirks were aimed at me coyly, their light blushes, their sweet words and I was sick.

_My Kami, how I hated being noticed._

Suddenly, I was a jounin, promoted by Tsunade even though I didn't take the exam just so I could participate in one of her projects. Suddenly, I was a "hunk", I was a tall, overly apathetic ninja, who had an impressive record, and deep eyes and rich hair, and could blow smoke in rings, kissed girls and tasted of nicotine, and eventually ended up blowing a heart shaped ring of smoke in cute girls faces.

All of it was a lie. I was a gargantuan, a very nervous ninja, who had a pitiful record with straight B and C rank missions, had plain brown hair and brown eyes, could only blow smoke in a puff and never bothered talking to girls, let alone kissing them and would never EVER learn how to blow hearts just to satisfy some strange girls. I very quickly took to speaking to only the older breed of women, the more mature ones who saw me as just a kid. I liked them.

Until they stopped treating me like I was just a kid. I was still young, only 23, still lazy, still everything. Only now, I had girls pawing me at left and right. Maybe that's why I liked being in the presence of Temari. The first thing she said when she saw my hulking figure was that I was that much closer to the clouds. She laughed when she heard the rumors, she yanked the cigarettes from my between my fingers teasingly, and once took a deep drag.

I swear, I had never been more attracted to a woman in my entire life. So when I found out that Tsunade promoted me so I could go on joint missions with Sunan shinobi, I didn't struggle. When girls fluttered their eyelashes at me, I just shrugged. I found myself thinking that she was just the right amount of troublesome. I would think about her sometimes. It all crashed down on me one day.

_My Kami, I was noticing girls._

It wasn't as if I was never interested in the female gender, I always was. I was never gay or bisexual. I liked women, plain and simple. I liked them a certain way with a certain attitude. I had managed to shove all my good feelings for girls away before, and I suppose my hormones were so sick of it.

I think it all started when Temari walked ahead of me once, demonstrating howSHE could guide ME in Konoha, jokingly. I noticed the flicking of her hips from left to right, right to left. I noticed the curve of her thighs and her nipped in waist and her more curvy assets. I realized that I liked her slender neck, I liked her legs.

And promptly, as soon as she got to the Hokage office and was behind closed doors, I hit my head against a wall, praying for brain damage. I can't say I'm surprised that Kiba noticed, with his nose, he could smell the attraction I had for her plain as day. I decided to stop fighting it. I was attracted to the most frightful woman in my life.

I liked her sweet moments, I liked when she was curious, I adored when she was off guard. She didn't care that I was tall, she didn't care if I smoked or the fact that my apartment was a mess. She was surprisingly cheerful a lot of the time.

After a long line of paperwork once, she got up. She hadn't checked into a hotel and it was getting late. I told her that they were all open practically 24/7, and she nodded. We had gotten to work immediately, and when we finished she nodded at me, grabbed her suitcase and walked off to a hotel. Any place she stayed at was covered by Tsunade, so I was surprised when I heard a knock on my door an hour later. I shuffled over, grumbling. Quickly, I grabbed a shirt as I had shrugged mine off when I found it too hot, and opened the door.

There, in all her cheerful glory was Temari, practically glowing in the lamplight.

"It's tourist season, every place in a mile vicinity is packed."

I raised my eyebrow. "Wouldn't it make sense to go a mile away and find one that isn't?"

"It would if I didn't have to report to the Hokage's office every morning. I'll go tomorrow, but come on lazy bones, do I have to say it? I made a three day trip in a day and a half, even I like my sleep."

I only nodded. "Why are you here though? I can't point you in the direction of a close hotel."

"You're one of the few people I actually know here, I was going to spend the night here."

My eyebrow shot up, but after thinking about it for a second, I nodded. Stepping aside, I let her in. "The place is a mess though."

"That's fine, I live with two brothers." She stepped inside and I closed the door after her. I had my own small apartment away from my parents. Ever since my father sat me down and told me that I was getting too old to room with them, I just decided it wasn't worth the struggle and got my own place.

"I'll sleep on the couch."

"You sure there, crybaby? It's still YOUR place. I can sleep there if you don't want to."

"Nah, too troublesome to go to the trouble of setting the pull out up. I'll just sleep on the couch as it is. Save some time."

She smiled at me, seemingly appreciative. "I'll make some tea." I nodded and pointed her in the direction of the kitchen. "If you need the bathroom, it's right across from the bedroom." I said, and went ahead and fanned myself. It was ridiculously hot here. Temari didn't seem to mind as she was from a very hot climate herself.

I walked over to my couch when I noticed a faint trail of sand on the floor. I shuddered. You could never get away from that stuff. I dusted it under the table in a small heap, and took my shirt off again. It was just Temari, she didn't give a damn if I was topless or not.

Eventually, she walked back in with two tall glasses of iced tea. I was lounging around on the couch, grateful that she had the sense to make a cool drink rather than a hot one. She handed me my glass before sitting down next to me and taking a sip.

"So, how's life been?"

"Boring…troublesome, the same old. "

"Oh?" She looked sly for a second. "I hear that it's not the same old for you." Raising my eyebrow, I willed her to elaborate silently. She smiled and I couldn't help but feel that it was slippery. "Just the fact that you've been having some admirers." I groaned. "Found a non troublesome woman to marry yet?"

And then I turned to her. I looked at her face, with her big teal eyes, and her dainty nose and chapped lips. Her cheeks were smooth, her jaw was surprisingly feminine. She had a long neck that melting into defined collarbones and slight shoulders. Her breasts were average sized, and enhanced the appearance of her thinner middle, and her hips flared and melting into smooth, muscled thigh and shapely calf.

No, she was FAR from non troublesome.

When my eyes hit her face again, I saw a slight flush on her face, though I couldn't tell if she was angry that I looked her over or flustered. She knew she was attractive. Everyone could see that when she swayed down the street, walking like royalty at her full five foot seven. When men catcalled her she simply smirked. No, she must just be angry.

I sighed and reached over for my jacket. I had draped it over my table. I looked through the pockets until I found my cigarette pack and lighter. Quickly, I took one out and lit it, inhaling in the smog. She lifted an eyebrow, and suddenly, I saw her smirk wickedly. She plucked the smoke right out of my mouth and replaced her lips where mine were previously. I gawked at her as she crossed her legs and took a deep inhale, like it was natural. She leaned back on my couch, the cigarette held between two long fingers, and pulled it from her mouth.

She blew out the smoke right out into my face.

_My Kami, she was gorgeous._

The sound of her exhale was erotic, she knew it, and she knew I knew it from the slight shiver that ran through me. Smiling, she flipped the cigarette over in her fingers until the lit end faced her, and she put it back in my slightly gaping mouth. I did not run on slip decisions, in fact, I was known for having plans. I pulled the smoke out of my mouth, threw it into the ashtray on my table, and planted my mouth on hers. I think we both expected it and she simply leaned into me, letting me do all the work. And surprisingly, I was fine with that.

We both spent the night on the bed, and I suppose it was easier seeing as we didn't have to work out sleeping arrangements. I, however, did like the fact that she played to my height perfectly, the most troublesome aspect of my body. Just tall enough to kiss me without a stool, just short enough to have to stand on tip toe and so I could lean my face down. And just the perfect height to wrap her long legs around me when I held her up.

Suddenly, my mind was brought back to the laughing Kiba. Naruto had turned back to the table and looked at me, curious.

"Kiba IS right though, you do have a little list of admirers. Why not date any of them?" And I smirked, Temari still on my mind. Her shoulders and swinging pendulum hips and I shook my head. "None of them are like my troublesome woman."

And their jaws hit the floor.

* * *

_**My goodness, I'm still in slight shock at the support for my writing recently (ShikaTema). Thank you EVERYONE for your story favorites and author alerts, all your reviews! (Chainina, Jane, Kimiz, SpunkyPaperAngel, 0Prolific0Change0, lolcari, Kadie, comeroundsoon, Suiren Kibounonai, LadyTemari, and Insanity-Fun! Thank you all, and I'm sorry I can't reply to everyone as I only get the computer for certain amounts of time of the day, and I spend most of it writing out these one shots that pop into my head during school!)**_

**Also...okay, so maybe I gave little Shika and Tem...and Chouji a bit of a height boost. Eheh? Well, their heights are based on them at around their teen years, and most of the people I know hit a growth spurt of a few inches or so around sixteen or so, which is around where most of the characters were in the series. I just kind of loosely based it off of that, with girls usually taking to being a bit less tall than boys. Temari is actually about five foot five, but making Shika six foot (which I was determined to do!) I wanted to make her just a HINT taller, and she around 19 at the time of the series, so between that and 26, I'd say she'd probably grow just a BIT. Also, normal weight for men at 6 feet tall is around 160 pounds. At 6'3, Asuma was 180 pounds, right in the average weight for men that size. Shika has ALWAYS been scrawny, (5'7 and 118 lb, normal is about 133. So he's usually about 15 or so pounds under.)**

**FUNFACT: Temari is around 106 pounds when she is 5'4, which is actually a little UNDER for girls. BUT, in part 1, she was 5'2 and 106 pounds, a little OVER the norm. I like Temari a little rounder, at 5'7, imagine her at 125 to 130 pounds, mainly of muscle (which is heavier than fat).**

**I based this off of the Ideal Weight and Height Chart, mainly based on BMI. Also, I am a total and complete fangirl of Shikamaru, I am not the only one, and girls in the Naruto universe would eventually notice his absolute sexiness. That is all.  
**


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